I was 22 years old living with a couple of girlfriends at the time. I was living a very care-free lifestyle, making good money and just enjoying my single life. I was “seeing” 2 guys at the time, and so when I became pregnant, I wasn’t really sure who the father was. And so of course having a baby at this point in my life was not something I had “planned” for. Knowing all along it was wrong, I went ahead and had the abortion. One of my roommates convinced me it was the best thing for me to do. My abortion was performed by an OB/GYN, in his private medical office. I remember the tears streaming down my face as the procedure was taking place. Tears of regret, because I don’t recall any physical pain.
But it was to late for me to turn back. And so began my life of guilt, shame, and hiding the “choice” I made, hoping nobody would ever find out. This “choice” led me to a destructive lifestyle that included drinking, drugs, depression, and outbursts of tears and pain, whenever I thought of what my baby could have been. I was never able to conceive again after my abortion.
So about 10 years later when I received Jesus into my heart, I prayed that He would use my mistake of abortion, for His glory, to help other women not make the same mistake I had made. Jesus promised to forgive ALL my sins, and to make me “white as snow”. Isaiah 43:18 says “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! I have gone thru the “Forgiven and Set Free” healing bible study, and am now a leader for this study as well. I look forward to whatever the Lord has in store for me, as I seek to help other women who are hurting.
Mary Lou